A man and a woman are sitting in bed. The man is reading a book.
Woman: Honey, could you put down that book for a sec?
Man: Sure thing, Hon. What's up?
Woman: Well, I need to talk to you about something.
Man: Oh no, did I forget to put the cap back on the milk again?! GOD DAMMIT!
Woman: Oh no, honey, that's not it. You've been great about that ever since my sister died...It's something else.
Man: Well what is it?
Woman: Well, you know how lately our sex life has been a little...wanting?
Man: Not really.
Woman: Yes really. We have 5 minutes of missionary sex, you go feed the dog and then we watch Home Shopping until we fall asleep. Every time it's the same. I think we should, you know, maybe spice it up a little.
Man: In what way exactly?
Woman: Well...I'd like for you to dress up.
Man: Dress up?
Woman: I'd like for you to dress up as...
Man: As who, honey?
Woman: As...Joseph Goebbels
Man: Joseph Goebbels!? The Nazi Minister of Propaganda?!
Woman: Yes please.
Man: But he's a Nazi!
Woman: Well, you know how some women have a thing for bad boys?
Man: But I'm Jewish! My grandfather died in the Holocaust! He said, "Little Herschel, next year on your sixth birthday, you can have my violin and I will teach you to play it!" Well I never got that violin, thanks to Goebbels!
Woman: Look, I know what he did was terrible and awful and the worst act in the history of humanity, but the thing is...(meekly) that just makes it hotter?
Man: I don't know about this. It feels so...attrocious,
Woman: That's the thing. It's normal.
Man: Normal?
Woman: Yes. Linda and Bonnie and Eileen and Ava all do it. We have a support group.
Man: All of their husbands dress as Goebbels!?
Woman: Well no, not just Goebbels. We all just like the idea of getting nailed by the worst people in history. Linda gets it from Genghis Khan. Bonnie's a Stalin girl. Eileen has a thing for Pol Pot. And, well Ava's husband dresses as...
Man: Hitler?
Woman: Scott Stapp.
Man: Well, it's not like I have an extra Goebbels outfit sitting around.
Woman: No it's OK. My grandfather was a Nazi. He left me his uniform. I have everything we need in the trunk in the hall closet. All you have to do is gel your hair.
Man: OK, well, is there anything I should...say?
Woman: No. The only important thing is that you look like Joseph Goebbels.
(They both start to get out of bed. The woman looks excited.)
Man: Ok but we gotta make this quick. I need to be up for work tomorrow.
Woman: Well, you know what they say. Work brings freedom.
(They both pause and laugh boisterously.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
this is funny as shit.
i dont get the last line though, the work is freedom line. is that something nazi's used to say a lot?
Post a Comment