Lately, in towns across America where "Taco Bell" is a verb, Judges having been getting more creative when it comes to passing out sentences. From mandatory youtube apology videos to wearing signs at busy intersections, unorthodox punishments are becoming hip, as a chorus of sweat-pants moms and pencil neck, Monty Python dads echo each others' "Well, good for him!" hymns.
But lately things have been getting a tad ridiculous:
Irving, Texas- 23 year old man, Dave Travelli caught vandalizing private property has been sentenced to 18 months without use of the letter R. "You get used to it. I can still have fun. Still d...imbibe alcohol. Still d...pilot my ca...automobile," he recently responded with rousing remarks, really remiss in remorse.
Atlanta, Georgia- Julius "Clip" Russel, a local youth and known gang-banger, was recently convicted of aggravated assault. Judge Foster "Colonel" Ford has sentenced him to "A period of 27 to 35 months wherein marshmallows must be the main course of his every meal." Mr. Russel has since become a youth outreach minister for his church and says he "rarely" considers suicide.
New Brunswick, Connecticut- Steve Poshenko was convicted of tax evasion and sentenced by Judge Eileen Cutrer to "hug three dogs and be more polite when shopping at Wal Mart."
La Foote, South Dakota- Lyle Brightman, arrested for a DUI, was forced to write a novel in the style of Tom Clancy about "The secret, vigilante life of Joe Pesci."
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